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—Here?
—Here.
—But you can see the whole village.
—That's the point. And nobody can see us.

Hard to argue with that. From the car park by the hermitage, with the lights off, the village was a handful of yellow bulbs and we were just one more shadow among the olive trees. I laughed, slipped off those glasses and stopped arguing.

We'd been talking about that viewpoint for weeks. A friend had described it to us as “the place where the sun takes its time going down”, and the phrase stuck with us. One Friday in September we left work, put a blanket and a flask of coffee in the boot and drove up into the hills without saying much, with that nervous calm you get when you know the evening is going to be special.

The dirt track was empty. We parked at the end, where the track opens out and the whole valley suddenly appears. There was a wooden bench half eaten away by the sun and, beyond it, a flat rock that looked as if it had been put there for us. We sat with our legs dangling and let the silence do its work.

I don't know who started it. I think it was a hand reaching for mine under the blanket, or maybe my head coming to rest on a shoulder. What I remember is the warmth of the stone still holding on to the day, the smell of thyme and the light turning orange on that face beside me. We kissed like we hadn't in a long time: no rush, no phones, nothing waiting for us.

When the sun touched the mountains, the blanket was no longer neatly folded and neither were we. We laughed when we heard a car in the distance, coming down another track, and we froze, holding our breath, until the noise faded away. That was all it was, a scare that ended in fits of laughter, but it took us back to the closeness of our first few months.

We drove home in the dark, hair tangled, feeling as if we'd stolen a few hours from the world. Since then, whenever the routine starts to bite, one of us says “viewpoint?” and the other is already looking for the keys.

My girlfriend and I broke up a few days ago, and since then the making up has been epic. Maybe my favourite day was when, in the car on the way home, she was incredibly turned on and, as I drove through the streets of Madrid, she decided to start talking into the microphone. When we got there we picked an alley near her place, she sat me down in the back of the car and climbed on top of me in her short dress. Incredible, right between the houses where anyone could see us.

I'm new in Barcelona, far away from everything I had before. I've always wanted to try a threesome with two girls, and I'm scared I'll like it too much

I've always been really short but I've got a very big penis. The other day I went to a pharmacy for XL condoms and the girl asked me if they were for me.